Bonkweewig is a god.

She takes the form of a minute, confident cobra.

Bonkweewig created a photon six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bonkweewig, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Bonkweewig, she will turn you into a blue tit.

Bonkweewig's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Bonkweewig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Do not trade with those who eat beans.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Never pour water over plants.