Zimhotlarp is a god.

She takes the form of a small, charitable bear.

Zimhotlarp created a photon four million years ago.

If you believe in Zimhotlarp, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Zimhotlarp, she will cry a lot.

Zimhotlarp's most sacred site is Questenberg in Germany.

Zimhotlarp's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. You must pray to Zimhotlarp four times a day.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Put Zimhotlarp first in all things.

5. Never go into yellow rooms.