Jopboppon is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, blissful bird.

Jopboppon created an electron six million years ago.

If you believe in Jopboppon, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Jopboppon, he will cry a lot.

Jopboppon's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Jopboppon's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Never talk about evolution by means of natural selection.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.