Vilkop Ontfliscuss is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, calm goat.

Vilkop Ontfliscuss created everything that exists six million years ago.

If you believe in Vilkop Ontfliscuss, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Vilkop Ontfliscuss, he will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Vilkop Ontfliscuss' most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Vilkop Ontfliscuss' Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

2. Never laugh in the presence of horses.

3. Never think about gravity.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.