Toncepsin is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, clever dryad.

Toncepsin created the Andromeda Galaxy two years ago.

If you believe in Toncepsin, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Toncepsin, she will say rude things about you at parties.

Toncepsin's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Toncepsin's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Do not wear red clothing.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Never wear yellow coats.