Gutspagnill is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, overgenerous hyena.

Gutspagnill created the planet Jupiter eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gutspagnill, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Gutspagnill, it will send you a sign.

Gutspagnill's most sacred site is Pisterzo in Italy.

Gutspagnill's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Never think about evolution by means of natural selection.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Do not wear lead on your body.

5. Worship no other gods but Gutspagnill.