Gemdotquaf is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, generous snake.

Gemdotquaf created life four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gemdotquaf, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Gemdotquaf, it will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Gemdotquaf's most sacred site is Gorbio in France.

Gemdotquaf's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick mites.

2. Do not wear gold on your body.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Always help ducks.