Bemjanwap is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, two-faced capybara.

Bemjanwap created time and space eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bemjanwap, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Bemjanwap, she will think nothing of it.

Bemjanwap's most sacred site is Trujillo in Spain.

Bemjanwap's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from fawn birds, for they are unholy.

2. Never mention sharks.

3. Never paint your back orange.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Erect six silver sculptures of Bemjanwap on top of important buildings.