Gonflatraw is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, wise elephant.

Gonflatraw created vertebrates six billion years ago.

If you believe in Gonflatraw, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Gonflatraw, she will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Gonflatraw's most sacred site is Ronda in Spain.

Gonflatraw's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Do not eat peanuts.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Always obey Gonflatraw's priests.