Legrowcap is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, omniscient goblin.

Legrowcap created Europe eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Legrowcap, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Legrowcap, he will destroy your favourite planet.

Legrowcap's most sacred site is Corsock in Scotland.

Legrowcap's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about the strong nuclear force.

2. Never talk about gravity.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Hide if five ants approach from the west.

5. Worship no other gods but Legrowcap.