Satlimdoss is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, passionate squirrel.

Satlimdoss created tapeworms three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Satlimdoss, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Satlimdoss, it will turn you into a frog.

Satlimdoss' most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Satlimdoss' Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Never wear shorts.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.