Camgarfod is a god.

It takes the form of a slim, witless raccoon.

Camgarfod created everything that exists six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Camgarfod, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Camgarfod, it will turn you into an amoeba.

Camgarfod's most sacred site is Vandet in Denmark.

Camgarfod's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear black.

2. Run away if three porpoises approach from the north.

3. Do not hurt hamsters.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Always help sick rats.