Sigtengon is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, grumpy ferret.

Sigtengon created carbon nine million years ago.

If you believe in Sigtengon, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Sigtengon, he will strike you with lightening.

Sigtengon's most sacred site is Askos in Greece.

Sigtengon's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate tapirs.

2. Never feed melons to sheep while wearing fawn scarves.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Never skip in the presence of doves.