Bonkxuckfumtip is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, selfish narwhal.

Bonkxuckfumtip created the Black Eye Galaxy four years ago.

If you believe in Bonkxuckfumtip, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Bonkxuckfumtip, she will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Bonkxuckfumtip's most sacred site is Amrit in Egypt.

Bonkxuckfumtip's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Bonkxuckfumtip.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Always stare at clouds.