Timlarpwon Ruttwotfoss is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, blissful parrot.

Timlarpwon Ruttwotfoss created vertebrates three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Timlarpwon Ruttwotfoss, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Timlarpwon Ruttwotfoss, he will try to impress you with rainbows.

Timlarpwon Ruttwotfoss' most sacred site is Gara in Hungary.

Timlarpwon Ruttwotfoss' Holy Commandments

1. Hide from pink ants for they are unholy.

2. You must pray to Timlarpwon Ruttwotfoss eight times a day.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.