Dobniggupgan is a god.

She takes the form of a very thin, unsympathetic alligator.

Dobniggupgan created carbon five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dobniggupgan, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Dobniggupgan, she will turn you into an amoeba.

Dobniggupgan's most sacred site is Skive in Denmark.

Dobniggupgan's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Never talk about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.