Larnmincab is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, able penguin.

Larnmincab created the planet Venus five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Larnmincab, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Larnmincab, it will refuse to believe in you.

Larnmincab's most sacred site is Yerakini in Greece.

Larnmincab's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large carbon sculpture of Larnmincab on top of all buildings.

2. Never go into white rooms.

3. Do not shave your legs.

4. Hide if eight pigs approach from the north.

5. Never think about cell theory.