Gesscaptar Zigrutbus is a god.

It takes the form of a three thousand metre long, compassionate dolphin.

Gesscaptar Zigrutbus created water two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gesscaptar Zigrutbus, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Gesscaptar Zigrutbus, it will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Gesscaptar Zigrutbus' most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Gesscaptar Zigrutbus' Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Never write about stars.

3. Do not trade with those who eat garlic.

4. Never write about gravity.

5. Ants are not to be trusted.