Largrulpom is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, dishonourable scorpion.

Largrulpom created the Cigar Galaxy four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Largrulpom, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Largrulpom, he will turn you into an amoeba.

Largrulpom's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Largrulpom's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill pigs.

2. Erect four copper sculptures of Largrulpom on top of important buildings.

3. Pray towards the south.

4. Run away if eight sharks approach from the east.

5. Do not cook food in pots.