Tarstignart is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, stupid unicorn.

Tarstignart created time and space seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tarstignart, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Tarstignart, he will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Tarstignart's most sacred site is Romlund in Denmark.

Tarstignart's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate birds.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Tarstignart loves frogs, so they must be honoured.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.