Lagsasvil is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, tranquil coyote.

Lagsasvil created Mount Everest two million years ago.

If you believe in Lagsasvil, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Lagsasvil, he will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Lagsasvil's most sacred site is Miiluranta in Finland.

Lagsasvil's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Put Lagsasvil first in all things.

3. Hide from turquoise capybaras for they are unholy.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.