Ratcepbin is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, selfish manatee.

Ratcepbin created dark matter eight million years ago.

If you believe in Ratcepbin, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Ratcepbin, he will send you a strongly worded letter.

Ratcepbin's most sacred site is Metsimotlhabe in Botswana.

Ratcepbin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of iron.

2. Goats are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Always treat rats with great respect.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.