Xencaddab is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, intelligent swallow.

Xencaddab created dark energy seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Xencaddab, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Xencaddab, she will turn you into a small brown duck.

Xencaddab's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Xencaddab's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about otters.

2. Do not skip in public.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of carbon.

4. Never think ill of sick squirrels.

5. Fast once a month.