Matkimzod is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, benevolent faun.

Matkimzod created the Cigar Galaxy six million years ago.

If you believe in Matkimzod, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Matkimzod, she will turn you into a goat.

Matkimzod's most sacred site is Bokaa in Botswana.

Matkimzod's Holy Commandments

1. Never skip in holy places.

2. Do not hurt grasshopers.

3. Never wear blue kilts.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Matkimzod.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.