Gabxemquag is a god.

She takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, weak goblin.

Gabxemquag created the planet Mars four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gabxemquag, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Gabxemquag, she will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Gabxemquag's most sacred site is Landsort in Sweden.

Gabxemquag's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no snails in a room before entering it.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Do not run in public.

4. Never think about black holes.

5. Do not take Gabxemquag's name in vain.