Bonkancuss is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, benevolent manatee.

Bonkancuss created energy nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bonkancuss, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Bonkancuss, he will think nothing of it.

Bonkancuss' most sacred site is Sanabo in Egypt.

Bonkancuss' Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt snakes.

2. Erect a large iron sculpture of Bonkancuss on top of all buildings.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

5. You must never eat tomatoes.