Gadzodkimbonk Sitcepkonquill is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, dishonest tapir.

Gadzodkimbonk Sitcepkonquill created the planet Venus five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gadzodkimbonk Sitcepkonquill, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Gadzodkimbonk Sitcepkonquill, he will make you grow a tail.

Gadzodkimbonk Sitcepkonquill's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Gadzodkimbonk Sitcepkonquill's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Always help porpoises in need.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.