Labwegpad is a god.

It takes the form of a four thousand metre long, two-faced clam.

Labwegpad created a top quark eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Labwegpad, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Labwegpad, it will not care.

Labwegpad's most sacred site is Askos in Greece.

Labwegpad's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed tomatoes to sharks while wearing white corsets.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. You must love Labwegpad.

4. Erect nine carbon sculptures of Labwegpad on top of important buildings.

5. Never run in holy places.