Batlighom is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, bad-tempered tortoise.

Batlighom created the planet Venus two million years ago.

If you believe in Batlighom, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Batlighom, he will throw large rocks at you.

Batlighom's most sacred site is Katballe in Denmark.

Batlighom's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat beans.

2. Pray towards the south.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Respect your elders.