Sawtoffebgannaknarl is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, caring meerkat.

Sawtoffebgannaknarl created tapeworms eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Sawtoffebgannaknarl, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Sawtoffebgannaknarl, it will turn you into a rat.

Sawtoffebgannaknarl's most sacred site is Cobbelsdorf in Germany.

Sawtoffebgannaknarl's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat tomatoes.

2. You must never eat grapes.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Never talk about galaxies.

5. Snails are not to be trusted.