Sisquagtik is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, bad-tempered bear.

Sisquagtik created Europe four years ago.

If you believe in Sisquagtik, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Sisquagtik, it will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Sisquagtik's most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Sisquagtik's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. You must love Sisquagtik.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Always help sick hamsters.

5. Never talk about galaxies.