Logbimmis is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, confident walrus.

Logbimmis created a photon six million years ago.

If you believe in Logbimmis, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Logbimmis, he will destroy your favourite planet.

Logbimmis' most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Logbimmis' Holy Commandments

1. Never go into indigo rooms.

2. Always help sick eagles.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Logbimmis.

4. Run away if eight foxes approach from the north.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.