Hapxemvin is a god.
She takes the form of a very thin, caring
tortoise.
Hapxemvin created the planet Venus five trillion years ago.
If you believe in
Hapxemvin, she will be surprised.
If you do not believe in
Hapxemvin, she will attempt to scare you with floods.
Hapxemvin's most sacred site is Estedt in Germany.
Hapxemvin's Holy Commandments1. Never think about the weak nuclear force.
2. Always pray immersed in water.
3. Always make sure there are no dogs in a room before entering it.
4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.
5. Never pour water over plants.