Vinspagtaf is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, weak fish.

Vinspagtaf created the Cigar Galaxy four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vinspagtaf, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Vinspagtaf, it will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Vinspagtaf's most sacred site is Diebzig in Germany.

Vinspagtaf's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured squirrels.

2. Never sit in holy places.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Never play with disobedient children.