Hakyarfarn is a god.

She takes the form of a very thin, merciful aardvark.

Hakyarfarn created dark matter six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hakyarfarn, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Hakyarfarn, she will curse you with boils.

Hakyarfarn's most sacred site is Dingcun in China.

Hakyarfarn's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured doves.

2. Hide if nine tapirs approach from the east.

3. Do not trade with those who eat tomatoes.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Hakyarfarn.

5. Do not chop down trees.