Dussortfar is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, emotional duck.

Dussortfar created a down quark two years ago.

If you believe in Dussortfar, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Dussortfar, she will refuse to believe in you.

Dussortfar's most sacred site is Denshawai in Egypt.

Dussortfar's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt hamsters.

2. Hide from violet moths for they are unholy.

3. Dussortfar loves squirrels, so they must be respected.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.