Funjipcidwit is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, duplicitous badger.

Funjipcidwit created a photon six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Funjipcidwit, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Funjipcidwit, he will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Funjipcidwit's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Funjipcidwit's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Always obey Funjipcidwit's priests.

3. Run away from magenta seals, for they are unholy.

4. Do not hurt sheep.

5. Never look in ponds.