Kanfabsad is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, emotional jellyfish.

Kanfabsad created silver nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kanfabsad, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Kanfabsad, he will manifest in front of you.

Kanfabsad's most sacred site is Yerakini in Greece.

Kanfabsad's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Kanfabsad.

3. Do not hurt horses.

4. Always wear pink.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.