Stigmigjab is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, omniscient goat.

Stigmigjab created bats eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Stigmigjab, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Stigmigjab, he will say rude things about you at parties.

Stigmigjab's most sacred site is Bokaa in Botswana.

Stigmigjab's Holy Commandments

1. Put Stigmigjab first in all things.

2. Never bounce near dolphins.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Always treat ducks with great respect.