Somgommobfoss Bamcetbest is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, selfish dove.

Somgommobfoss Bamcetbest created an atom nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Somgommobfoss Bamcetbest, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Somgommobfoss Bamcetbest, she will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Somgommobfoss Bamcetbest's most sacred site is Gohrau in Germany.

Somgommobfoss Bamcetbest's Holy Commandments

1. Do not make images of living things.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Never mention squirrels.

4. Always help gulls.

5. Run away if six swans approach from the east.