Guntaghen is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, annoying elephant.

Guntaghen created the Small Magellanic Cloud eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Guntaghen, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Guntaghen, he will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Guntaghen's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Guntaghen's Holy Commandments

1. Always help whales in need.

2. You must love Guntaghen.

3. Do not shave your head.

4. Never talk about horizontal gene transfer.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.