Jatrapzag is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, selfish tapir.

Jatrapzag created the Milkyway eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jatrapzag, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Jatrapzag, she will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Jatrapzag's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Jatrapzag's Holy Commandments

1. Never sing in the presence of gulls.

2. Never eat wheat.

3. Always look after injured turtles.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Do not drink alcohol.