Bessfatnart is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, wise gerbil.

Bessfatnart created viruses five billion years ago.

If you believe in Bessfatnart, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Bessfatnart, he will turn you into a mouse.

Bessfatnart's most sacred site is Bodieve in England.

Bessfatnart's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no pigs in a room before entering it.

2. Bessfatnart loves birds, so they must be honoured.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Never play with disobedient children.