Futfubnarlquafpitbess is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, contented monkey.

Futfubnarlquafpitbess created the planet Saturn three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Futfubnarlquafpitbess, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Futfubnarlquafpitbess, it will turn you into a sheep.

Futfubnarlquafpitbess' most sacred site is Katballe in Denmark.

Futfubnarlquafpitbess' Holy Commandments

1. Always help tapirs in need.

2. Erect four silicon sculptures of Futfubnarlquafpitbess on top of important buildings.

3. Do not eat pineapples.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.