Hamlathak is a god.

It takes the form of a three hundred metre long, self-assured guinea pig.

Hamlathak created the Small Magellanic Cloud eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hamlathak, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Hamlathak, it will try to impress you with rainbows.

Hamlathak's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Hamlathak's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Hamlathak's name in vain.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Do not drink water in fawn rooms.

4. Run away if nine turtles approach from the north.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Hamlathak.