Arnappgov is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, humane coyote.

Arnappgov created an electron six billion years ago.

If you believe in Arnappgov, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Arnappgov, she will send you a sign.

Arnappgov's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Arnappgov's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Arnappgov.

2. Never paint your neck yellow.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Turtles are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Never eat bark.