Hotbarnquagrut is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, unselfish horse.

Hotbarnquagrut created the planet Jupiter six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hotbarnquagrut, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Hotbarnquagrut, he will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Hotbarnquagrut's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Hotbarnquagrut's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Always make sure there are no foxes in a building before entering it.

3. Hotbarnquagrut loves gulls, so they must be respected.

4. Do not wear titanium on your body.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.