Quillyartsag is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, loving seal.

Quillyartsag created the planet Venus seven million years ago.

If you believe in Quillyartsag, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Quillyartsag, he will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Quillyartsag's most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.

Quillyartsag's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about planets.

2. Run away from fawn gulls, for they are unholy.

3. Feed all hungry dogs.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Erect a large silver sculpture of Quillyartsag on top of all buildings.