Flabdabhog is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, ruthless beaver.

Flabdabhog created silver eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Flabdabhog, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Flabdabhog, he will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Flabdabhog's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Flabdabhog's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick monkeys.

2. Never think ill of sick mites.

3. Do not skip in public.

4. Never eat apples.

5. Never pour water over plants.