Yimbodzim is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, unthinking jaguar.

Yimbodzim created a bottom quark three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Yimbodzim, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Yimbodzim, he will turn you into a puffin.

Yimbodzim's most sacred site is Qantir in Egypt.

Yimbodzim's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat spinach.

2. Retreat if nine gulls approach from the east.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Always help capybaras in need.

5. Feed all hungry manatees.